That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I wish we could skip the pretense of being normal and just start drinking wine with breakfast
I woke up smelling like the ciroc you tried pouring into my mouth last night. I think my clothes are still soaked
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
Would you like to get an apartment bong? It can be like our pet and we can give it a name.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
