Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Randomize
