Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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