well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
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