She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I woke up at 5 this morning face down on my bed with gummy bears stuffed in my leggings. Yeah.
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
