I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Speaking of dumpster fires, your ex tried to add me on Facebook
Randomize
