It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
You were my sober police. You had one job and you failed miserably.
I'm a corrupt cop.
Turn on the Discovery Channel
Lets fuck to motorcycle gang fighting
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
Damn victory sex feels great
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
