Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
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