If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
He nailed 50 frozen hamburgers to the ceiling last night. Now there are flies every where.
Is moral bankruptcy something you need to file for?
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
First post college job and I got fired within a week. Something tells me that adulthood isn't going to be as much fun as sex and the city led me to believe.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
