I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
COME HERE WE MELTED A CORONA BOTTLE WITH FIREWORKS
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
HOLY SHIT. I JUST FOUND OUT THAT THE KARL/RORY BASEBALL FIGHT THAT RORY LOST WAS 2 YEARS AGO TODAY. RIP KARL'S DICK.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
