there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
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