gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
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