ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
What drug did you take that made the cabinets scream at you?
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
