I'm eating all of the evidence.
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I have to brush my teeth today to feel like I did something.
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
It's not even 6 am and I've already told my mom to fuck herself in the face
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
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