Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Im drunk taking pregnancy tests with this really hot girl...i dont know what is happening
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