it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Oh my goodness please please please my inner slut needs some pampering, shes getting rusty and nothings worse than a rusty slut
I think mark twain said that originally
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
WHY WERE YOU COOKING NAKED?
WHY WERE YOU SLEEPING ON MY COUCH?
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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