Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I'm discussing Magic Mike with my mom and totally get why she thinks I'm gay.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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