somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
Why is there bacon in the couch?
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