people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
