were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
What happened to my knees?
You ate shit in front of the homeless people. They applauded.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
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