We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
that last vodka shot was definitely the straw that broke the camels alcohol tolerance level
Have you ever wondered what your stripper song would be?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
On a scale of 1 to i should hide, how deep did i dig my grave?
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
