five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
