we have officially lost it.
youre lurking in front of me
She is in my trunk
The funny thing about my wife cheating on me is that the guy probably has genital warts now. Sweet.
and parents always said I was only motivated by money. Pfft they forgot vodka.
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
