Rock
Scissors
Fuck
never play flip cup with pint glasses
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
Randomize
