Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
