He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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