he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
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