Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
... there are chew marks on my license. I have no idea.
were lost, were cold and we don't know what to do with the stray cat we found.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
Antibacterial soap and prayers does not for spermicide make
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
