if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
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