if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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