so that wasnt chicken after all
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
It's not even 8pm on a Friday and I've already got a guy to tell me how big his penis is. Watched anything good on Netflix lately?
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
