It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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