I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I am available for nakedness
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
Randomize
