So yesterday I was on craigslist and I saw a listing for a sofa-cum-bed. I knew what they meant...
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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