Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
