I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
In your drunken brilliance did you make bagel with what appears to be mac and cheese smeared on top and pink icing dip? Because if so it is sitting on the counter
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
Randomize
