Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
You basically told your boyfriend at the time you were going to shit in his hands.
And I meant every ounce of it.
I ended up with a gash in my head from drunken dancing last night. I love life.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Randomize
