Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
As I'm trying to leave her house she shushes me and puts my hand on her boob, then goes back to sleep. In like 30seconds. What the fuck.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Just saw the trailer for Spike Lee's version of Oldboy. They filmed a lot of it in A's building so like every scene features a place where I had or almost had sex. If oral counts then pretty much every scene.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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