NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
