I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Yo this huge scar on my head from the car accident is truly a vag magnet. Probably because I'm telling people I was attacked by a mountain lion and killed it with my bare hands. But hey when life gives you lemons, you use them to get pussy
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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