Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
You can't do wine Netflix and blow jobs in the bed you've had since 5th grade with your parents downstairs
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize