I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
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