im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
Randomize
