marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
you were cooking a hot pocket with a grill lighter what did you want me to do
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Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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