Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
I've come to realize that after waking up this morning for work no one wins in bar dice.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
Randomize
