watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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