if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
Randomize
