I just went through her cupboards. Eye patch and sword. nowhere near each other. different shelfs.
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
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I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
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Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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