Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize