ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
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