btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
