margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
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