it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
im drunk. people are steering their children away from me. whatever it is that you called for, I assure you that I don't care. have a good night
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
