"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
