I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
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his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
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you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize