Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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