I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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