i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
He just stabbed two olives and a pickle with a fork and deep throated it in front of my family
Not even marginally surprised
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
