Sorry, I don't speak sober.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
That butt dial turned into a booty call.
Randomize
