Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
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