i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
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