Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
Congratulations, I drank so much for your birthday that I'm shitting blood.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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