I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I told you, I don't give a SHIT about their music. I JUST. WANT. TO FUCK. THE BASSIST.
He puked in the voicemail. That's a true friend right there.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
