I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Remember my theory about how the universe perfectly unfolds to fuck me? Well, it's at work right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
And now let us go forth, and be garbage people in public.
Isn't that our default mode?
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
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