Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
He doesn't wear a seatbelt. He votes Republican. He has a small dick. That house of cards just fell apart.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
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