Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
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