My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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